On the path to my parenting book

Mid February has arrived and I have been trying my best to keep my promise of turning this month into a writing exercise for my prospective book "Parenting Sucks!" The new title ping ponging around is actually "Kids are Great / Parenting Sucks!" Maybe that will take the edge off a little....!

I was going to do my writing publicly, but a friend's comment about protecting my children from potential embarrassment threw a little hesitation into the works. So, I've been writing for the benefit of my hard drive only. Tonight I'm tapping away in a coffee shop in my lil' hometown of Lafayette. This is (drum roll please) the first time I've ever bought coffee in a coffee shop. Ever!! I am new to the coffee addict club. I feel guilty throwing down $5 and just loitering around this place for 2 hours. How the hell do they make any real money? Oh well, I guess it's their burden not mine. I'll probably throw another buck in the tip jar before I go.

So I've been thinking about this parenting book quite a bit and leaving myself voice memos in my iPhone whenever an idea occurs to me. One thing I really would like to do is interview parents about their experiences. If you're reading this and think you'd be up for such an interview, lemme know. I could do it via phone patch at my studio, then transcribe it later. As I said in my last post, it would be a lot like the Studs Terkel books. Then, in between the interview chapters I would have my musings and observations. Sound like a best seller? Honestly, I'm just enjoying having a creative project to pursue that I haven't discarded after a day or two. I like writing a lot but I've had trouble latching on to an idea that I can sink my teeth into. I've come to peace with the fact that I'm more adept at personal commentary than fiction. I would love to be a screenwriter, but you need fully formed ideas for those damn things! Plus it's hard to find the time for that sort of endeavor at this stage of my life. Maybe that's a lame excuse, but I'm sticking to it for now.

Last week provided a perfect illustration of the unpredictability of parenting. The week started with Oliver coughing like a chain smoker (again). We've had this problem for a while now. Kid goes on antibiotics for an ear infection, then 3 days after he's done with the meds, another infection sets in. It's tough. The doctor's advice was to see an ear nose and throat specialist with the likely outcome of having to take his adenoids out. So that was Monday.

Tuesday we kept him home from school because he's hacking like Joe Camel. You get the super stink eye from parents if you bring a phlegm-ball kid to pre-school-- even if he isn't technically contagious (which he wasn't). It's just against code. So we had to go into contingency mode where I stay home for a while, and have my wife take over later. I hate interruptions in routine. It's like taking the blanket away from Linus. Then-- hello Murphy's Law!-- Kirsten senses she's coming down with something, too.

Wednesday Kirsten is down: hard. Chills. Fever. Aches. We get through the night time routine, but it's clear she's going down for the count. Which leaves me solo on ...

Thursday. Awaken the daughter. Get the boy up. Feed em. Dress em. Brush um teeth. Rush, but don't push! (if you push, you're sure to get resistance). Drop off daughter. Drop off son. I'm fucking Super Dad, baby! I made it! Into work for a little peace and quiet. As the day rolls on, I decide to take the kids to the mall after school to stay away from Mom (still sick-- Strep as it turns out). The plan is to burn some energy at the mall's play area-- one of those soft surface germ parks where kids race around and leave various bodily fluids in their wake. Then, we'll grab some fast food (veggies be damned tonight!) and head home for stories and bed. Unfortunately, disaster strikes. I've overestimate my son's bladder endurance and he urinates all over himself. Not in the car. Not on the escalator. But mere inches from an actual toilet! Damnit! Entire plan is ruined. We have to go home. Daughter erupts. Wailing and gnashing of teeth. The world is at an end. We hastily pick up McDonald's and a corndog (their choice, not mine) and head home for an uncertain landing.

Friday. Wife still sick, but antibiotics are kicking in. More schedule shell games. Are we having fun yet? My mom is our hero as she steps up for the 2nd day of unplanned babysitting. Thank Goodness for mothers! We make it to the weekend! Which really isn't great news for me because frankly I get to relax a lot more during the week.

So there it is: a snapshot of my life and a likely similar scenario to what parents across the world face on any given week. Stay tuned for more stories from the front lines and drop me an email if you're interested in my interview project!

Be well.