American Idle

I'm finding as this month long experiment goes on, I have to more or less force myself not to do anything. I keep thinking of projects that I could begin or complete. Things that 'need' to be done. Today, I dropped my son off at day care, came in and checked email... and then didn't have any agenda until 2:30. My mind was crowded with a few things that I "should" be doing, but I am remaining true to the goal! After frittering a few moments on Facebook, I sat in my lovely recliner and began to read.

Hard Times, the book is called. An Oral History of the Great Depression. I picked this up after hearing it excerpted on This American Life a few weeks back. I am fascinated by what would happen if things really hit the shitter with the economy. I know it is for many people already; people who have been out of work and who don't have any safety net. What is striking me in the first 30 pages or so of Hard Times is the shock that the 1930s collapse caused. The realization that things that were assumed to be solid or permanent were not; it seems very similar to what's going on now. Bear Stearns failing? GM possibly going out of business? Over 3 million out of work? Impossible! Couldn't happen! Even as I read the stuff, I feel a little fearful. I have always been good with money, so I have a cushion to live on if times get very lean. But my (fearful) mind wonders: "Could we make it if it got REALLY hard? What would I do? Could I get work?"

I'm not sure how or if this relates to my idle experiment, but it certainly DOES relate to the question of how much one needs to live. Not money, but everything. How big a house, how fast a car, how many toys, how many luxuries? I feel like a genius for having a modest sized house with a (yawn) 30 year mortgage. I wonder if priorities in this country will shift radically in the midst of this current crisis?

I think this idle experiment comes from my desire to question concepts that are so widely accepted, i.e., "You HAVE to work." Really? Do you? Is there another way? If money is the only answer for needing to work, then what would you do if money wasn't an issue? Or what if you needed only a fraction of the money you thought you needed? What is it you want to get out of your life? I'll never forget telling a good friend of mine that I wanted to negotiate a pay cut for myself in order to work less hours. To voluntarily cut my pay by 30% so I could work a third as much. My friend thought I was nuts. I think mainly because he's a better negotiator than me. In fact, the people my boss had to take the idea to thought HE was nuts for even entertaining it. But you know what? That decision was such an eye opener for me because-- it worked. I DID work less. I took money out of the equation in the negotiating process. I didn't (and to a large degree still don't) care about money! I cared about my time! I wanted to live my life on my terms as much as possible! That choice, which was made out of desperation because I had begun to really loathe parts of my job, set me up for more freedom. I began to work from home, my freelance business began to blossom and 5 years later, I left my job entirely to do... this.

I will never understand people that do not respect their own power as an employee. If you are good at what you do, if you are a talented and/or skilled worker, if you show up on time, if you meet deadlines consistently, if you play nice with co-workers.... YOU ARE VALUABLE! You are rare! You are not easily replaced! That doesn't mean you need to throw that weight around or put it in your company's face all that often, but it does mean you can say NO to your company if they are asking you to do something you don't think is fair. Because when you relent and meekly say "Yes, sir" you are acting out of fear. Fear of being fired, therefore, fear of not having money, not being able to buy food, fear-- when you get to the bottom of it-- of death. Do not fear being fired! It will likely not happen, and if it does, other doors will open up to you that you could never anticipate. There are always lackeys that are willing to take up slack that you will not shoulder. Be strong! Believe in yourself!

I know a few people who cannot live by this standard even though they are self employed! They are over burdened with work and don't care for the effect it has on their lives. But they are their own boss! This is one of the reasons I love American Beauty so much. Kevin Spacey gets fired and it opens his eyes to all sorts of things. He remakes himself. He is freed!

Well, I fear I am preaching and who knows if this will be read or not? I am enjoying my idle day very much. I am enjoying blogging more often as well. Hit me back with thoughts, rants and feedback. They will be appreciated. I will continue on my idle path as long as I can (18 days to go!) though some legit projects are brewing that may divert me somewhat. A new DETOUR is still percolating. That is one project I will tend to since it feels like my 'art' for lack of a better term. I'm finding a lot of good mixes on b00mbox lately, a site I've recommended before. Check it out!